Mother bear protecting her cubs.
Photo: Photo by Scott Michael's photostream/flickrIn the treacherous ambiguity of domestic violence, it is an irrefutable fact that an abusive husband may be just the beginning. Although the legal system has made great strides over the years, there are still certain practices that allow for grave injustice. The oppression may be levied not only by the victim’s abuser, but also by an unenlightened judicial system with a subjective point-of-view.
Under the judicial microscope
Within the legal process, victimized women may be placed under a microscope wherein every action, facial expression, and verbal innuendo within the courtroom may be scrutinized and judged. These women have already been severely traumatized; they have fled their abusers under dire circumstances, and now the additional terror of being branded as an unfit mother hangs over their heads like a guillotine. The stakes are inconceivable. Considering the reality that their child could be temporarily, or permanently, taken away provokes unfathomable panic. In the grip of such fear, depression, and intense anxiety, the courts know it is quite likely she may behave erratically, thus jeopardizing her legal position. Of course. How could she not? Any woman who sees her child in danger, or realizes that he or she may be subjected to an abusive, uncertain, and motherless future has the potential to erupt. It is not about logic. Like a mother bear torn from her cub, it is maternal instinct to vehemently protect the young.
Within the legal process, victimized women may be placed under a microscope wherein every action, facial expression, and verbal innuendo within the courtroom may be scrutinized and judged. These women have already been severely traumatized; they have fled their abusers under dire circumstances, and now the additional terror of being branded as an unfit mother hangs over their heads like a guillotine. The stakes are inconceivable. Considering the reality that their child could be temporarily, or permanently, taken away provokes unfathomable panic. In the grip of such fear, depression, and intense anxiety, the courts know it is quite likely she may behave erratically, thus jeopardizing her legal position. Of course. How could she not? Any woman who sees her child in danger, or realizes that he or she may be subjected to an abusive, uncertain, and motherless future has the potential to erupt. It is not about logic. Like a mother bear torn from her cub, it is maternal instinct to vehemently protect the young.
Abduction justified under human rights?
Sometimes child custody is awarded to the father even in cases where the child, like the mother, has been abused. Sooner or later, with nothing to lose and everything to gain, these women may find a way out, abducting the child against incredible odds. Child-snatching for the purpose of gaining legal jurisdictional advantage is a decision born of extreme desperation. But when any human being finds they are entirely deprived of any lawful means of reclaiming their basic human rights, are they not righteous? Can a moral person obey an immoral law their conscience tells them is unjust?
Sometimes child custody is awarded to the father even in cases where the child, like the mother, has been abused. Sooner or later, with nothing to lose and everything to gain, these women may find a way out, abducting the child against incredible odds. Child-snatching for the purpose of gaining legal jurisdictional advantage is a decision born of extreme desperation. But when any human being finds they are entirely deprived of any lawful means of reclaiming their basic human rights, are they not righteous? Can a moral person obey an immoral law their conscience tells them is unjust?
Erratic behaviour in the courtroom
Paralytic emotions can come into play within the courtroom. The child is terrified to be taken from his or her mother and sent back to the father. The mother is horrified to think that the child may be torn away from her, perhaps to another city or state with limited hopes of visitation and no recourse for the future. Is this substantial cause for erratic behavior, fear, anxiety, and despair in the courtroom? Absolutely. Are her emotions unrealistic? Does it mean she is unfit? Absolutely not.
Paralytic emotions can come into play within the courtroom. The child is terrified to be taken from his or her mother and sent back to the father. The mother is horrified to think that the child may be torn away from her, perhaps to another city or state with limited hopes of visitation and no recourse for the future. Is this substantial cause for erratic behavior, fear, anxiety, and despair in the courtroom? Absolutely. Are her emotions unrealistic? Does it mean she is unfit? Absolutely not.
Instinct, not rationale
It should be noted that one cannot look for logic in this scenario. There is no rationale in motherhood. It is instinct, pure and simple. It is the very nature of the beast. Should a woman, torn away from her cub be expected to behave in a logical manner? Ask the mother bear.
It should be noted that one cannot look for logic in this scenario. There is no rationale in motherhood. It is instinct, pure and simple. It is the very nature of the beast. Should a woman, torn away from her cub be expected to behave in a logical manner? Ask the mother bear.
Continue reading on Examiner.com: Maternal instinct propagates disorder in the court - National Domestic issues | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/domestic-issues-in-national/maternal-instinct-propagates-disorder-the-court#ixzz1KAU7G0WZ
Positive power of pain prevents boiled-frog syndrome
It may seem elementary, but while our universal human instinct is to avoid pain, there is a miraculous purpose to suffering. Pain is the indication that is something wrong. It is a warning signal of escalating damage to the body, mind, and spirit.
Think about living a life without physical pain. It sounds like a gift, does it not? Quite the contrary. Pain is our natural alarm system; the lack of tactile sensation would be an unequivocal nightmare. (Read about a rare genetic disorder called CIPA, Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis.) With no reaction to pressure, strike-force, or sharp implements, we would suffer extensive cuts, bruises, and broken bones, never realizing the extent of the damage until long after the fact. With no reflex reaction to heat, we would sustain ghastly burns; with the onset of infection, abscesses, or blood-poisoning, the only indication would be visual signs, or gangrene, long after the fact. Without pain, we would lack that vital forerunner signaling our brains of minor injuries, major trauma, or serious medical condition. With no escalating reaction, there is no incremental gauge, and therefore no ability to respond.
And yet, with domestic violence, abuse victims may be punched, kicked, bruised, bludgeoned, strangled, shot, or stabbed and still remain in denial, their pain unrecognized, their injuries untreated. Emotional wounds are just as significant. Yet unspeakable mental anguish, separation anxiety, estrangement, disenchantment, isolation, panic, terror,and feelings of impending doom may be ignored for years on end.
A pot of water boils on the stove. If a live frog is thrown into the pot, he jumps out instantaneously. But if the frog is placed in a pot of cold water which is heated gradually, the frog does not sense the change and slowly boils to death. As the toxicity of a relationship escalates, so does the accompanying pain. So why do we not react? The reason is simpler than some might realize. It is an incremental equation. A well-known cautionary tale demonstrates the phenomenon:
Although the story is biologically inaccurate, the metaphor clearly demonstrates the syndrome. Inaction, resulting from the inability to comprehend gradual but significant changes, can lead into a frightening and dangerous reality.
When it comes to domestic violence, the line between action and inaction is often blurred by the naïve desire to "keep the dream alive." This perverse mindset is born of denial -- the overwhelming refusal to recognize that a Cinderella-lifestyle has become a living nightmare. Life is not a fairy tale, and although some dreams may come true, happy endings are never guaranteed.
Step back from your life and take a new look, a conscious reassessment of your reality. If you wake up every morning living in tumultuous fear, hating your life, and wondering how you will survive another day, then please recognize that this is NOT life -- this is not living. Reevaluate your circumstances. Seek professional advice or the help of a friend. The lesson of the boiling frog is indisputable. If the pot of water is heating up all around you, the leap you take may save your life.
Continue reading on Examiner.com: Positive power of pain prevents boiled-frog syndrome - National Domestic issues | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/domestic-issues-in-national/positive-power-of-pain-prevents-boiled-frog-syndrome#ixzz1KAW58AAw
